i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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