One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
