"it" just moved
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize