Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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