I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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