I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
