Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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