yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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