Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize