If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
