I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
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just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
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Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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