Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
