high people should be assigned attendants
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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