i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
