you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize