I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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