It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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