I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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