ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
