I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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