I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize