Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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