I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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