Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
