I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
