The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
