The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
