you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
