i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
