We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
