Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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