3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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