omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
