I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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