so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
