Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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