I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
