I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
