I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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