please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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