dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize