i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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