OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
COCAINE IS GR8
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
