If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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