just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
