i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
