can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
