is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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