SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
