I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
