why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize