Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
