did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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