Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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