i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
