it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
