What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
