oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
